For the last two days my inner Eeyore has been sitting in my kitchen, drinking tea and telling me my life is crap. The whole idea of moving to Wales was crap, trying to build a business in a foreign country is never going to work, you’ve had dreams before and they never manifested, you will never be happy, it’s pointless trying to build a new life; everything is basically crap, it always has been and it always will be crap.
Eeyore is the depressed part in me that has lost all hope, and when he appears I know I’ve been in my head, pushing and doing and making myself perform without stopping and asking myself if I’m enjoying what I’m doing. The answer is always no, because Eeyore comes to tell me that life is crap. So, over the years I’ve learned to listen to him and question all the ways that I’ve been pushing myself to perform, do better, do more so that I can fall back into a space where what I do is done with love.
Eeyore disappears into thin air once I step into my heart space and when he’s gone, I feel grateful for his appearance. When I live my life doing things that I feel no joy in doing I become depressed, his appearance gives me the opportunity to realign myself into doing things with joy. It is clear to me that all the emotions and parts of us that are deemed unhealthy, toxic or sick are actually our greatest teachers in becoming authentic, real human beings.
Take for instance resentment, as emotions go this one is a great teacher of boundaries. Because as much as we resent others for making us do something we do not want to do, we are actually mad at ourselves for not being strong enough to honor our boundaries and say no.
Over the years I’ve looked at all of my emotions and all the different parts of myself using Voice Dialogue. It has given me so much insight into who I am, and it has brought me to a place where I am aware of what is going on inside of me. This is why I thank Eeyore for showing me where I was going off track in my life, as uncomfortable as it is to really listen to him and take stock of my life, I always find myself rejuvenated when I’m done. Nothing good can come from fighting or disowning parts of who we are, we are meant to sit with them and look for the wisdom that is present behind the uncomfortable emotions and behavior.
This afternoon I’m going mushroom hunting in the forest with a friend instead of doing work on my laptop, and as I type this, I feel excited about going on this adventure. I wouldn’t have gone if it wasn’t for Eeyore.